With the face of an angel, you deserve to be treated more than right....

My life has been like a freaking roller coaster lately. Saying that brings up a feeling of deja vu...interesting. Well about a week ago (actually exactly a week ago today) my best friend Dave left for Afganistan. The thing is, I don't remember a point in time where I started needing Dave. It's just like one day it happened. He went from being my sort of friend Dave to this fantastic other part of me. Not that he didn't have his issues to. God knows we helped each other through all the horrible things a person has to go through. Losing loved ones, moving on, being ripped off by friends. There was actually a point in time (a low point) where I couldn't get out of bed I was so sad. Dave came to Sacramento and just laid in bed with me. Seriously he was just next to me for a few days. And viola....all better. Well maybe not all better. But I was able to drag my useless ass out of bed long enough to take a shower and rejoin the human race. So basically in a nutshell for the past 3 years Dave has been my oxygen. I call him when I need to complain, break down, rejoice, all sorts of things. And honestly, he may just be the very best friend I've ever had. When I was 17 I lost my cousin Michael. We had grown up together and being only a month apart in age made us very close. He was the one person I was never ashamed to tell anything to. Well when he died, I had a huge hole. I actually don't remember the days surrounding his death (my therapist says this is because I never deal with my pain, I just push it in the back of my brain, thus "protecting" myself). Well once Dave came along, I had that again. I can tell him anything, no shame. So needless to say him leaving has left me feeling anxiety ridden and devastated. Not to mention he got married 2 days before he deployed to a girl he has known for 2 months. I'm all for love, and I truly hope she is everything he says she is. But regardless, I think it was dumb. I'm happy he is happy, and I'm happy he has something to come home for. But I am devastated because I feel like I've lost him 2 times over now. Okay enough about that, I'm getting sad again.

So to recap on recent events: Austin is a douchebag (seriously, just tell me if you're dating another girl you asshole), Jesse texted me (I think he is a narcissist and just likes feeling like he is in control), VanBoy sucks (who cant take a break from studying so I can take out my lonliness on your really hot lips?), and I met a new boy (when don't I?) named Ben who seems to like me just a little too much. I don't feel like elaborating on any of those, mostly because I feel insanely lame that all those new developments have to do with boys. Get a life right?!

Another new non-boy related development. My mom is pregnant!!! You'd think her uterus would be tired by now. No dice. 23 years after she first got pregnant the lady is still at it!!! My youngest brother (Kai) is 5, and has been dying for a little sister he can name Rainbow (shut up he is not gay, he just likes colors). While I don't think his name of choice will fly, my mom seems convinced she's got a girl, even though she is only 5 weeks pregnant. If it is a girl all I've got to say is I feel SORRY for all little boys born in or around this time. I don't think the world needs another woman with my DNA, Lord help us. However my mom wants to name her Addison, which I am in LOVE with. I really am excited though. Honestly Kai stole my heart the moment I met him. That kid has me wrapped around his little finger. My sister on the other hand must be hanging out with Satan in her spare time, but I hope that passes. Plus, how could you not want another kid that looks like this?!















So anywho, I am pretty sure that's all that's really new right now. Life isn't too exciting. My therapist suggested that I take 30 minutes out every day and cry, thus somehow allowing myself to feel the pain I've been pushing aside?! I don't agree, that and I am afraid to open those flood gates. So I haven't done it yet. Maybe I will tonight...probably not thought since it's the season finale of Glee and I'm WAY too excited about it. I swear I should have not gotten fat and been on Broadway. Oh and learned to sing. Minor details. Here's more pictures from the photo session we had when I went home for Thanksgiving. It was a Birthday/Christmas gift for my mom.