Early Early Early

It's....freaking...early. Honestly sometimes I lay in bed after the alarm goes of really considering calling in sick. But, if I use my sick days I won't be able to use them for Halloween, or Kentucky, or Disneyland. So that's out. I honestly cannot wait until law school. I hope they don't have classes until noon (joking, I know it's going to be hell on earth).

So I had the strangest dream last night. Hence me writing about it at 8 a.m. Well anyway I don't remember much about it. Except that I was having babies (weird). Triplets to be exact. And one of them didn't make it. (really morbid I know) Ugh it was awful, especially since I know I don't even want kids for years. But damn they were cute (thanks gene's).

Don't know why I felt like sharing....but I did. I think it may have something to do with me really thinking a lot about my cousin (and very best friend) frequently lately. The thing is, he passed away when we were 17. It broke my heart, and really sort of screwed me up. It's not until now that I realize some of my major trust issues come from the feeling of being left behind. But that's a big long story for another day. Anywho, I've been thinking about him, and what it'd be like if he were here. What kinds of things we'd get to experience. How much more emotionally stable I would have been for the past year if he were here to talk to through everything. It makes me angry sometimes that life isn't different. I was in Connecticut this summer, with our huge family reunion, and all the cousins had someone their own age, or someone they were really close to. That's how our family works sort of. It made me really mad that I was alone, without Michael. Okay I'm done venting, before I start crying at my desk.

I'm looking forward to this weekend, and hopefully sleeping a little bit. I feel exhausted lately.

I should probably get back to work though.