getting it...

Falling in love is easy. It's what you do after, all the stuff that comes along, that's the hard part. Where will we live? What will this become? Do we get married? What if we fight? You think it should take enough time to fall in love that these questions answer themselves. So often, you're right. It takes months, sometimes years to give your heart to someone completely. But sometimes, it takes a moment, two days, three weeks, a month, no time at all.

After ending a long relationship I swore up and down the next four years (my year in between then three in law school) would be spent alone. Staying up late, studying, going out, making new friends, toying with hearts, finding out who I truly was. And then I was hit by a bolt of lightening, shaken to my core by something I didn't want, and I sure didn't expect. I wanted to be alone, I didn't want a boyfriend, much less to be in love. Because with you, your heart is safe. You know where it is, how much danger it's in, it doesn't hurt. But when someone else has your heart, well then, it's a whole different playing field.

I fell in love in three weeks. In that time I figured out I know who I am, and if I don't know 100%, he'll love whoever I become. I figured out he catches me when I fall and further more, he picks my ass back up. He shakes me out of bad moods, annoys me to all get out, and every time I see him my heart does somersaults. The hardest part of this all is the doubt. Not my doubt, because honestly, I've tried to find it. I've searched high and low for the nagging feeling that this just isn't real. It isn't there. It's the doubt from those I love...it's the "Amanda, it's been months, give me a break," the "be careful, you don't know him" and the "so you're throwing it all away for a boy?!". Well no, I am not throwing it all away for a boy. He wouldn't let me. He believes in me more than I do sometimes. He's offered to stand right behind me while I chase these dreams down, just like I'd stand right behind him. But it seems that the one person I want to be happy for me, the one person who should be elated that her daughter found love, well she just doesn't get it. She's tried to make me feel crazy for it all. And for a second I thought maybe I was. Until I stumbled upon this website. This story is long, it's actually epic. But it's real, and it's from a normal woman, just like me, who fell in love so fast her head spun around. Her life changed, her plans changed, and she is blissfully happy.

I wish I could put it in front of my mom's nose and say "here, it's not just me!"

But she wouldn't see it anyway...

P.S.
The story is VERY long, but I urge you to read it. It drags you in and sweeps you off your feet. It's beautiful.

ThePioneerWoman