About 2 years ago my little sister came to me with a HUGE secret. She was sixteen at the time and just discovering who she really was. I don't know the details of her self discovery but I know it was scary for her to tell me. I was the first family member to know and she wanted acceptance. So accept I did, I thought, "what if she didn't accept me for something I couldn't change? How heartbroken would I be?" But man did that secret wear on me. After a few months I told my grandma, who surprisingly enough didn't bat an eyelash. Which is strange because she is Catholic. She told me my sister would need support and love and I had to be that ambassador until the rest of my family could.
So anyway, a year and a half went by and my family went on a big vacation. My sister and I have always had a tough relationship and fought a lot. But as she grew older we became closer and I began to enjoy her company a lot more. However she has always had jealousy issues. She hates that my mom and I are so close, and hates that my brother loves me so much. It's hard for her to be the middle child. So on this vacation we got into a fight and it ended with me pretty much outing my sister. I will regret this until the day I die, I hurt her and diminished any trust we had.
It took until about 3 months ago for Madison and I to repair our relationship. I'm not the biggest fan of her girlfriend, but I love my sister. She is hilarious and creative, caring and compassionate, she is downright beautiful. She is an amazing photographer, and sort of just downright awesome. A few months ago she gave me a book called Keeping You A Secret.
I don't care if you've never even heard of homosexuality. You need to read this book to recognize how important acceptance truly is. Recently I heard (as everyone has) about a young girl named Constance Mcmillen. She wasn't allowed to bring her girlfriend to her prom, which was only the tip of the iceberg. Not only was this girl berated and belittled for standing up for herself but she was then sent to A FAKE PROM! By the PARENTS. It makes me sick. I'd like for everyone to take a second, close your eyes, and picture the day YOU went to buy your prom bid. The day you were asked to your first school dance. Now pretend you weren't allowed to go with that person, for no other reason than no one wanted you to be with them. Mormons don't believe in sex before marriage (as do most religions), Mennonites don't believe in dancing, so for people to say it goes against what GOD wanted, whose GOD are we talking about people? The GOD who said "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone?" or the same one that let an adulterer go and loved her in spite of what she did that he didn't agree with? That GOD? Because I'm pretty sure that GOD is sick to see what those assholes did. This wasn't my sister, but honestly? If it was, I'm not sure if I would have been able to restrain myself from burning that school down. Who cares who you love? Who cares who you spend YOUR life with? Who tells you you're not allowed? No one, and you aren't GOD so stop trying to tell others how to live their lives.
Okay now, I'll step off my soap box. But in addition to that insanely fabulous book I've been listening to this song a lot.
Blessing- RJ Helton
I have no idea how to put videos on here so you'll have to go click and watch. It brought me to tears. One day my sister will find the right time to tell my parents who she really is, (because in spite of my outburst last summer my parents are still oblivious) but until then I'll be her warrior. I'll be her wall and make sure no one hurts her the way I did.
By the way, she came to SF a few weeks ago and I took her prom dress shopping. It was one of those rites of passage I was so happy to share with her. She and her girlfriend are going together.
My sister, being far too much like me...
This is Courtnee (her gf), Madison and I at a Giants game.
Madison and I
Madison on the ferry to San Francisco...
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