my night has become a sunny dawn because of you

BRAAAAH BLAH BLAH BLAAADITTTY BLAH!
I want to scream punch and hit her in the FACE!
Okay maybe not quite that intense. But really?! Why would you try to make someone miserable? Why? Because you're filled with liquid anger you terrible terrible woman!

I don't need her negativity :) Nope not me. Not Sally Sunshine. Can you just sense the sarcasm oozing out of me? Oozing...attractive word isn't it? (I'm talking about my wretch of a roommate)

Back to some much more interesting business. So Vegas boy will be here in t-minus 2 1/2 days. I feel as though he deserves a real name now, let's call him RocketPants. :) bahahaha! Yep, that's what I said. Anyway so RocketPants is coming. I am deliriously excited for this. We talk every day, for hours, texting, calling, skype (don't judge me). I can't get enough of him. He makes me smile when I'm devastated. For instance, every once in awhile I let myself turn on really sad music, pull out my yellow box of sadness (pictures, obituaries, etc. from Michael), and just sob. Well during my sob-fest RocketPants called. Usually I ignore all communication during these little pitty-parties. But I pulled myself together and answered. And I put my box away, and smiled. He makes me happy. Like genuinely happy.

It's strange because even with Jesse I was uneasy all the time, unsure, untrusting. I trust him, 100%. I want to be with him every second but it doesn't bother me when he is with other people. That used to bother me with Jesse. I know it seems dumb, and fast, and reckless, but honestly nothing has ever felt this right to me before. I sound like such a damn cliche. How embarrassing. But honestly, something about him feels right. I don't care about trivial things, I'm calm, I'm hopeful, and I smile all the time. He makes my heart flutter, seriously, I'm not trying to be super gay here. My heart literally skips a beat when he says things to me. Foooor instance:
Exhibit A: I really just want to kiss you and be able to touch you again
Exhibit B: I cant wait to put my arms around you
Exhibit C: PS I love kissing you
Exhibit D: I dont care if you think you look bad seeing you makes my day (referring to Skype)

So don't judge our gross cuteness. Because I've NEVER been treated this way before and I love it. I'm terrified to do this, to fall for someone, let alone fall so fast. I haven't even told my therapist. I'm afraid she'll tell me it's a bad idea. I don't want to hear that because I don't want to feel like this isn't perfect. Plus I don't even know if I should tell him about my Crazy-Doctor yet. Okay that's enough of me being a cookie-cuter girl. Phew.

So I got a Free 7-Day Pass to 24Hour Fitness. Mostly because I'm the most unmotivated person EVER. Spin classes sound fun, and so does Yoga and CardioDance class. So that's what I'm doing for the next seven days. Then maybe I'll force myself to buy a membership because that is the ONLY way the 15 (yep 15) pounds since I graduated college is coming off. I'm fucking huge, it's gross. Okay well may not huge...but bigger than I want to be. And RocketPants has a VERY nice body...sooo ya. haha!

Anywho, I'm excited/nervous for the changes a comin'! I can't wait to see where everything will take me. And I cant wait to continue this crazy fall with the boy...it's pretty thrilling.






This quote brought tears to my eyes, so I thought I'd share in the spirit of being all mushy..

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.