Happy Monday

So I'm not sure if many people are familiar with PostSecret but it has honestly changed my life. The first time I picked up one of these books it was my roommates, 5 years ago. At the time I felt like no one understood me or what I was going through. I felt like a freak for some of the things I did to make myself feel better. But upon opening this book, and ultimately reading the new secrets Frank Warren posts every Sunday, I came to find out that there were a dozen others that had the same secrets I did. I wasn't alone, and my secrets were not even that crazy. He has truly created a community of the misunderstood. I think it's a fabulous movement/project whatever you want to call it. You should check it out if you never had. This one I saw today got to me big time, mostly because I'm feeling it very much.




Because I believe I've found that and because of the email beneath it....

"I'm searching for the love that will make it ok for me to remember."

I think that in one love, I've found both. Last night I had a terrible dream about Jesse. I can't remember it much only that it was devastating and I was very sad, and crying. I guess if I tried hard I could remember more, but I don't really want to. The most fascinating thing was when I woke up I wasn't upset. I had remembered him and although dream me was upset by some course of action he'd taken, real me was just fine. I can remember him now and although there is a phantom pain, a small numb area of my heart that will always twinge when his face pops up, I feel like I'm mostly healed. I feel like remembering isn't so bad anymore. We had some amazing and wonderful times and we were best friends for four years. There was a lot wrong, but I've learned so much because of it. I think one day I will thank him for all we went through (not now I'm still a tad bit angry). But I really feel so much love in my heart, there's no room for him anymore. The only way I can even begin to think to express my feelings for Corbin is to say I love you. I'm trying hard to hold off, I don't want to be the first one (pride and all that). But I am falling fast. He is honest and caring, and so attentive even though we're miles apart.

He is coming Friday, I'm so excited. :)

Okay enough of the mushy crap...lunch time.